Grief Speaks
Ask Lisa
  
HomeAbout LisaContact LisaPresentation TitlesNewsletter and Follow GSTestimonialsStudent TestimonialsLisa's CalendarSchool ProgramParent ProgramsCrisis HotlinesIndividual SessionsPhoto GalleryPast PresentationsBereavement Support in NJBereavement Support 2Self Help GroupsHealing After a Suicide (School)Suicide Survivors SupportSigns of Suicide Contemplation and the InternetTalking to a Grieving ChildStudents Share ConcernsFears and Worries in KidsWhat is Grief?Common Signs of GriefWhen a Parent Has CancerWhat Parents Can DoTeachers Can HelpCultures and GriefWhat Does That Mean? Explaining grief words to childrenScream Box: How to MakeCyberbullyingDivorceTeen GriefDeath of a Teen FriendTeen ResourcesBooks Change LivesBooks for TeensTeens Grieving in SchoolWhat Not to Say to a GrieverWhen a Parent DiesSupporting a GrieverAges and StagesChildren at Funerals?LossWhat to Say to a GrieverSibling LossTraumatic Loss Coalitions for YouthAssisted Living ProgramsGrief Speaks BlogVirtual Book Tour of Always My BrotherAfter a parent's suicide: returning to schoolSexual Orientation IssuesAdoption IssuesAl-Anon AlateenAdolescent Dating ViolenceSexual AbuseEmpathic ListeningWhat is Mourning?Mental Health SupportGuilt and RegretsEating DisordersBlog Page 2Fear and Worry in KidsListeningWhat's NewComplicated GriefMen and GriefImmigration and LossChildren Coping with a DeathCollege, Grief and SuicideWhen Death is ViolentDeploymentDomestic ViolenceDealing with MurderIncarcerationMiscarriage or Stillbirth LossChildren with Special NeedsBullyingJob Loss Affects ChildrenSpeaking to Very Ill PeopleWhen a Child is Dying (guidelines)Ask LisaBooks for ChildrenMore Books for ChildrenBooks for AdultsAdditional ResourcesSpiritual AssessmentFeesThe Mayonnaise Jar

Enter subhead content here

Dear Lisa,
My best friend's mom just died and I don't know what to say or do. Any suggestions?  Sarah (17 years old)
Dear Sarah,
I am so touched that you wrote to ask me, as it says a lot about what a caring friend you are. Please acknowledge your friend's loss. Say, "I am sorry about your mom. I can't imagine what it is like for you. I am here for you". Talk about it with her, share your own feelings of grief. Tell her favorite memories you have of her mom. Listen to her and be there for her. Allow her to express all of her thoughts and feelings when she wants to. Don't push her to talk.  Often teens feel guilty that they didn't spend enough time with the person who died, or that their last interactions were not positive. Encourage her to talk to you, as well as a trusted adult. She may want to look at my web site for information about teen grief as well as for some books or resources. Know that there is no way to speed grieve...although our society would make us think that. Know that holidays, anniversaries and certain times are going to be hard for her. The best advice is to be patient, caring and treat her as the best friend that she still is. Teens don't like it when people treat them differently. However letting her know that you are comfortable and willing to talk about her mom will help her to talk when she is ready. One of the things that is most hurtful is when friends say things like," aren't you over it yet, are you still thinking about her, or even "it is time to move on".  We never get over losing a person who we loved. We miss them forever. Eventually we do heal and we find a way to integrate the loss into our lives and to find and make meaning out of it for us in our own way. That takes time though. Thanks for being a friend who cares. She will always remember that you were there for her.

Enter content here

Enter content here

Enter content here

Enter supporting content here

Powered by Register.com