HomeAbout LisaLisa's CalendarBlog PagePresentation TopicsFees and PaymentStudent TestimonialsTestimonialsSchools Impacted by DeathAdolescent Dating ViolenceAdoption IssuesAges and StagesSeniorsBooks for AdultsBooks for ChildrenBullyingChildren at Funerals?Children Coping with a DeathChildren of AddictionCollege, Grief and SuicideCommon Signs of GriefComplicated GriefCOVID-19 ResourcesCrisis HotlinesCultures and GriefCyberbullyingDeath: Car CrashesDeath of a childDeath of a Teen FriendDeploymentDepression SymptomsDepression in Children/TeensDivorceDomestic ViolenceEating DisordersExplaining Death to ChildrenFacts/StatisticsFears and Worries in KidsA Friend is DyingGrief TermsGrief Videos with MilesGamblingGuilt and RegretsHelpful ProductsHIV InformationHIV MedicinesHIV/AIDS support groupsHIV Testing in NJImmigration and LossIncarcerationJob Loss and GriefListeningLGBTQIA ResourcesLooking for SupportLossMen and GriefMental Health SupportMiscarriage or Stillbirth LossMurder or HomicideNational Support GroupsPhysicians and EmpathyParent Has CancerParent ProgramsPet Loss: Helping Children CopePhoto GalleryPTSDQuotes on GriefSchool FightsSchool ProgramScream Box: How to MakeSelf Injurious BehaviorSexual Abuse/Sexual AssaultSibling LossSpecial Needs & Children 1Special Needs & Children 2What Parents and Caregivers Can Do to Support ChildrenSpeaking to Very Ill PeopleStudents Share ConcernsAfter a Suicide AttemptSuicide PreventionAfter a parent's suicide: returning to schoolHealing After a Suicide (School)Suicide Survivors SupportSupporting a GrieverSpiritual AssessmentTalking to Grieving ChildrenThe Mayonnaise JarTraumatic and Sudden LossTLC of NJTeen GriefTeens Grieving in SchoolTeen ResourcesTeen Recommended BooksTraumatized ChildrenVirtual BookViolent DeathWhat to Say to a GrieverWhat Not to Say to a GrieverWhat is Mourning?What is Grief?When a Child is Dying (guidelines)When a Parent Dies

                             Words to Try for Families:
( from Handbook for Mortals; Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness by Joanne Lynn, MD and Joan Harrold, M.D.)
When you think you want to say:                       Try this instead:
Dad, you are going to be fine.                     Dad, are there things
                                                               that worry you?
Don't talk like that! You can beat this!         It must be hard to
                                                              come to terms
                                                              with all of this.
I just can't talk about this.                        I am feeling a bit
                                                             overwhelmed right
                                                             now. Can we talk
                                                             about this later?
Please don't give up. I need you here.         I need you here. I will
                                                             miss you terribly. But
                                                             we will get through
                                                             this somehow.
Don't be glum. You will get well.               It must be hard. Can I
                                                            just sit here with you
                                                            for a while?

Listen, listen and then listen some more. There are some times that silence speaks louder than words. Often ill people appreciate more than anything, someone sitting next to him or her, quietly, patiently and compassionately. There is no need to fix or advise or judge. Just learn to sit and be. There is a great saying," don't just do something, sit there" that fits perfectly now.

(973) 985-4503