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Grief and the College Student: Latest research findings on bereaved college students (ADEC, 2008)
1/3 of college students experience the death of someone close to them. One recent study suggest that 30% of college students were bereaved in the past 12 months, and 39% in the past 24 months (Walker, Balk, 2008). 
In another study, Noppe found that 47% of college students had experienced a death in the past 24 months and that almost 20% of them had experienced multiple losses in that time. Student academic performance and engagement was affected by their loss, especially when the deceased was someone close to the student. Most students did not see their college as a resource in helping them with their grief and only 19% of the bereaved students talked to their professors about their loss.
Balk, 2008 found the strong need for colleges to reach out to a bereaved student in and to determine what bereaved students need and want. These needs include:
  • a specific place on campus that is readily recognized as a place to provide support and information,
  • the willingness of the professors to allow late and make up work and to offer in-completes.
Servaty-Seib, 2008 found that closeness to the deceased also greatly affected the student's ability to study and engage with others.
Colleges need:   to train non bereaved students, provide structured interventions for bereaved students at risk for complicated grief, and to encourage colleges to create leave policies for their students.
Adapted from the July 2008 ADEC Annual Conference (Association of Death Education and Counseling)
Normal Signs of Grief:
Somatic or bodily distress
Preoccupation with the image of the deceased
Guilt relating to the deceased or circumstances around the death
Hostile reactions
The inability to function as one had before the loss
Feelings:
Sadness, Anger, Shock, Denial, Numbness, Guilt and Self Re-proach, Anxiety, Loneliness, Fatigue, Helplessness, Yearning,
Physical Sensations:
Hollowness in the stomach
Tightness in the chest
Tightness in the throat
Oversensitivity to noise
A sense of personalization "I walk down the campus and nothing seems real, including me"
Breathlessness, feeling short of breath
Weakness in the muscles
Lack of energy
Dry mouth
Cognitions:
Disbelief
Confusion
Preoccupation
Sense of Presence
Hallucinations ( often transient illusory experiences often occurring within a few weeks following the loss, and generally do not point to complicated grief). Many find these experiences comforting, although they are disconcerting to others. One wonders with all of the recent interest in spirituality, whether these are really hallucinations or possibly some other kind of metaphysical phenomena. (Worden, 2002).
Behaviors:
Sleep Disturbances
Appetite Disturbances
Absentminded Behavior
Social Withdrawal: People tend to want to withdraw after a loss. This is usually short lived. Many students avoid those who try to "cheer them up" or adults who push them to "get over it".
Dreams of the Deceased:  very common to dream of the dead person, both normal kinds of dreams and distressing dreams or nightmares. 
Avoiding Reminders of the Deceased: Some people will want to avoid places (dorm room, dorm, classrooms, dining hall table) as they may trigger painful feelings of grief. 
Searching and Calling Out:
Sighing
Restless Over activity
Crying
Visiting Places or Carrying Objects that remind you of the deceased
Treasuring Objects that belonged to the deceased
 
National Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers Support Network (International)
Network of university students helping each other cope with the serious illness or death of a loved one. Campus-based mutual support groups, online newsletter, online chats, and service projects. Web site provides information, group development guidelines and a listing of universities currently interested in group development.  Write: National Students of AMF, 514 Daniels St. Suite 356, Raleigh NJ 27605.  Website:  http://www.studentsofamf.org
 
 

This information is from Suicide Prevention Resource Center:  www.SPRC.org

The Role of College Students in Preventing Suicide

College represents a huge transition for most young people. Many are living away from home for the first time. Even students who commute to school achieve a new level of independence and freedom in college. However, college also eliminates some of the safety nets available to young people living at home. It is easier for a young person's problems to go unnoticed when he or she is away at college and not under the eyes of parents, old friends, and high school teachers. College also provides a new opportunity for young people to experiment with drugs or alcohol.
Why would someone want to die? Sometimes people want to die because they are suffering from a chemical imbalance that causes depression or another mental disorder-and college students may neglect to take medication prescribed for depression, hyperactivity, or other problems. They may also have a mental illness that causes them so much emotional pain and anguish, it prevents them from rationally considering other solutions to their problems. Incoming students may have particular difficulty adjusting to a new academic environment where the competition is more intense and the stakes are higher.
While you may not be able to solve these problems for a friend or classmate, you may be able to help the person find someone who can help. And the first step in doing so is recognizing the warning signs that someone may be at risk of suicide.
                                                                                   

Recognizing the Warning Signs

College students have their own culture and language. You may know your college friends better than their own parents do. And you may be able to tell that something is wrong with one of your classmates when the professors and faculty advisors can't. You can use your insights to help your friends and classmates find help when they are having problems.
While there is no foolproof method of determining that someone is thinking of hurting him- or herself, the following signs might indicate that a young person is considering suicide:
  • A suddenly worsening school performance. Good students who suddenly start ignoring assignments and cutting classes may have problems-including depression or drug and alcohol abuse-that can affect their health and happiness and put them at risk of suicide.
  • A fixation with death or violence. Young adults with problems may develop an unusual interest in death or violence, expressed through poetry, essays, doodling, or artwork; an obsession with violent movies, video games, and music; or a fascination with weapons. Older adults often cannot tell a "normal" interest in violent video games or music from an obsession, whereas peers know what is more typical for this age group.
  • Unhealthy peer relationships. Students who don't have friends, or suddenly reject their friends, may be at risk. A friend who suddenly rejects you, claiming, "You just don't understand me any more," may be having emotional problems.
  • Violent mood swings or a sudden change in personality. Peers who become sullen, silent, and withdrawn, or angry and acting out, may have problems that can lead to suicide.
  • Indications that the student is in an abusive relationship. Some young people may be physically or emotionally abused by a member of their family or their girlfriend or boyfriend. Signs that a person may be in an abusive relationship include unexplained bruises or other injuries that he or she refuses to discuss.
  • Signs of an eating disorder. An eating disorder is an obvious sign that someone needs help. A dramatic change in weight that is not the result of a medically supervised diet may also indicate that something is wrong.
  • Difficulty in adjusting to gender identity. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered young people have higher suicide attempt rates than their heterosexual peers. These youth may be faced with social pressures that make life very difficult.
  • Depression. Depression is an emotional problem that increases a person's risk of suicide. The following signs indicate that someone may be depressed:
    • A sudden worsening in school performance
    • Withdrawal from friends and extracurricular activities
    • Expressions of sadness and hopelessness, or anger and rage
    • A sudden, unexplained decline in enthusiasm and energy
    • Overreaction to criticism
    • Lowered self-esteem, or feelings of guilt
    • Indecision, lack of concentration, and forgetfulness
    • Restlessness and agitation
    • Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
    • Unprovoked episodes of crying
    • Sudden neglect of appearance and hygiene
    • Seeming to feel tired all the time, for no apparent reason
    • An increase in the use of alcohol or other drugs
Some warning signs of suicide demand immediate action:
  • Announcing that the person has made a plan to kill him- or herself
  • Talking or writing about suicide or death
  • Saying things like:
    • I wish I were dead.
    • I'm going to end it all.
    • You will be better off without me.
    • What's the point of living?
    • Soon you won't have to worry about me.
    • Who cares if I'm dead, anyway?
  • Staying by themselves rather than hanging out with friends
  • Expressing feelings that life is meaningless
  • Giving away prized possessions
  • Neglecting their appearance and hygiene
  • Obtaining a weapon or other things that they could use to hurt themselves (such as prescription medications)
Again, there is no foolproof way of knowing for sure that a teen is thinking of hurting him- or herself. But even if the person isn't thinking of suicide, these warning signs can mean that he or she other serious problems. By taking action, you can help that person become happier and healthier. 

                                                                                  

Helping Your Peers

If you think that any of your friends or classmates may be thinking of killing themselves, there are two important things you can do: Talk to them, and express your concern to a responsible adult.
Having someone to talk to can make a big difference. College students will often share secrets and feelings with their peers that they will not share with older adults. However, you may need to be persistent before they are willing to talk. Ask them if they are thinking about killing themselves. Talking about suicide or suicidal thoughts will not push someone to kill themselves. It is also not true that people who talk about killing themselves will not actually try it. Take any expressed intention of suicide very seriously.
You should be especially concerned if people tell you that they have made a detailed suicide plan or obtained a means of hurting themselves. If they announce that they are thinking of taking an overdose of prescription medication or jumping from a particular bridge, stay with them until they are willing to go with you and talk to a responsible adult-or until a responsible adult can be found who will come to you.
Don't pretend you have all the answers. The most important thing you can do may be to help them find help. Never promise to keep someone's intention to kill him- or herself a secret.
If you have talked with a friend or classmate and think that person is in danger, yet the person refuses to get help, you need to talk to a responsible adult who can intervene. You should also find a responsible adult if your friend or classmate refuses to discuss the issue with you, or if you think that you don't know the person well enough to initiate a personal conversation.
Find someone who is concerned with and understands young people and can help. This might be a member of your friend's family, or it could be a residence assistant, a professor, an administrator, a member of the clergy, or someone who works in campus mental health services or the health clinic. If this adult doesn't take you or your friend's problem seriously or doesn't know what to do, talk to someone else. Most college campuses have a mental health or emergency support network that will respond to your concern.
Don't be afraid of being wrong. It is difficult for even experts to understand who is at serious risk of suicide and who is not. Many of the warning signs for suicide could also indicate problems with drug or alcohol abuse, domestic violence, depression, or another mental illness. Young people with these problems need help-and you can help.
                                                                                    

Taking Care of Yourself

If you are thinking of hurting yourself, tell someone who can help. If you cannot talk to your parents, find someone else: a relative, a friend, or someone at your campus mental health services or health clinic. Or, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK (8255).

www.sptsnj.org   Society for the prevention of Teen Suicide  
There is a lot of information on suicide prevention
Contact We Care: Crisis Hotline: 908-232-2880

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